The topic of our documentary, Circles, is surrounding the nature of gossip and kinship between friends. When the idea was first brought up by Mariah, our director, I was immediately reminded of a long car ride into the mountains with my cousin. During the trip she mentioned her disdain for how people within her gender share a natural dislike of each other. She brought up how she felt that, regardless of how close two women may be as friends, there is a complex rivalry that makes them find flaws in the other as frequently as possible, which contributes to gossip. I looked back and realized that other women I had been friends with had said similar things, and while men have a tendency to create a similar intra-gender competitive or aggressive environment, it is expressed very uniquely in women.
Being asked to research the topic, I did what I'm used to doing. I looked into it's roots and tried to find work on the fundamentals of the social phenomenon that is gossip. In other words, I tried to science the ever-living f**k out of something that is supposed to be intrinsic.
Nothing is True
The best place to start a conversation about this is Socialization Theory, which put simply is the idea that infants start out as clean slates, ready to be scarred, painted, stained, pick your verb, into obtaining their future traits from the world around them. I'm getting this out of the way early because it's important to note that all of the following can be changed and nothing said in this blog is predetermined to happen in any way, regardless of ethnicity or sex.
Duels and Duets (food for thought)
During my research I came across a book by a man named John L. Locke called Duels and Duets: Why Men and Women Talk So Differently. The book attempted to improve upon others like Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus which discussed the differences between the ways in which the two genders socialize and communicate. It did so by looking at things with a biological and psychological perspective, essentially trying to use hard sciences to explain daily behavior. The book claimed that men socialize and critique each other directly through "Duels", which are social competitions for status. They are more upfront and confrontational than women who socialize in "Duets", which use gossip as a means of building or reinforcing strong foundations between friends.
The book was criticized as having a "shakey" foundation however, and furthermore not being based off of strong studies in the hard sciences. The books is more of a collection of interesting thoughts than anything else. Gold star.
Gender Differences in Gossip and Friendship (Crazy s**t that should be boring but isn't)
There was another study I found that was MUCH more interesting by David C. Watson called Gender Differences in Gossip and Friendship. Before I go further, it's important to note that this study was done exclusively with men and women between the ages of 17 and 29. Our documentary will cover EVERY age group as best we possibly can, therefore the results are only relevant to some of our subjects.
It should also be noted that the following is based on IRREFUTABLE STATISTICAL EVIDENCE THAT HAS PASSED THROUGH REVIEW FOR ETHICAL AND ACCURATE SCIENTIFIC STANDARDS AND PRACTICES. (Don't bother arguing with these results, only the opinions based on them. For real, you'll look dumb as s**t).
Sonya wins...Friendship:
Regarding women, this study indicated that there was low correlation between gossip and friendship quality. With males the opposite was true. On top of that "women tend to place more emphasis on the importance of friendship that do males...[as a result] Higher friendship expectations and a greater emphasis on communion make the female friendship more vulnerable to damage compared to males."(Watson 498).
From this it sounds as if gossip would be significantly less prominent in women, but since this would refute the whole point of writing this blog I'm going to craftily suggest another idea to save my a**: that gossip is actually a constant, and rather than it disappearing altogether it becomes more hidden. This lines up with the experiences of the women and my cousin, as well as (for better or for worse) Locke's previous theories based in biology and other "hard" sciences.
Friendship in Watson's article is surprisingly well thought out and defined. Every single positive connection you've made in your lifetime can be reduced to nothing more than an instinctive balance between your own personal agency and the benefits of communion so that you can retain as much free will as possible while gaining status(science has a tendency to make you feel all fuzzy and warm on the inside).
Cheep cheep cheep (talk a lot, pick a little more):
Gossip fits into this by helping to seamlessly advance status. "Gossip enhances the ability of the group members to communicate about the shared activity and perhaps enforce norms about the collective endeavor without direct physical confrontation"(499). There are limits to this however, as "some gossip is necessary to bond with the group, but if the level is too high, then the person is viewed more negatively"(499).
Then thing about gossip is that it not only strengthens bonds between friendships, but also gives you raw information about the people around you. Gossip is a method "whereby the individual is in possession of the knowledge has a type of currency...mutually empowering to its participants"(500). "Power...is not something that separates individuals, but something that connects individuals together as the powerful person is someone that is sought after by others."(500)
Wrapping this one up
Gossip, by it's nature, is actually around to empower those who engage in it. It's why it's so common amongst women, but by the (^STATISTICALLY PROVEN^) fragility of female relationships, it needs to be hidden.
There was one thing I failed to mention about my car ride with my cousin. We realized that everything above was so blatantly obvious, yet no one had even bothered bringing it out and talking about it as a social aspect. Sure there has been Mean Girls(2004), and the like which makes fun of gossip amongst women, but few have confronted it as a serious problem in society.
That's what could this documentary interesting, we're getting an opportunity to record on camera the reactions of women being called out about something that more prevalent in society than brushing your d**n teeth, something their guilty most likely, and finding the raw ethical nature of it. Sure, gossiping is healthy and natural in some situations, but is it moral? This documentary could wind up making you ask something along the lines of: How moral is this? How moral am I? (Questions for later).
Complain about facts to this guy:
Watson, John C. "Gender Differences in Gossip and Friendship. Sex Roles. 67. 9-10. 2012. pp. 494-502.
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